The Fog Begins to Clear

humid-autumn-fog

We have a little over three months left and then we can put this dumpster fire of a year to bed. 2016 has been a really hard year for a lot of people, and I am no exception. I’ve been struggling all year, but the up side is that now I think that I am finally starting to come out of the funk that I’ve been in. It’s been tough, y’all. My husband lost his job back in January, and it took him until September to start a new one. That is a long time to be out of work, and desperately trying to find a job. Finances have been a constant stress, and if any of you have been in a similar situation, you know how nerve-racking it can be. His new job is great, and he is really happy with it so far, but it’s been a long journey to get there.

I suffered a pretty serious injury to my knee at the end of last year that I’ve been dealing with ever since. For months I wasn’t able to walk unaided, and I was in a constant state of pain. Even after I was able to get rid of the crutches and then the cane, I still had a lot of work to do to rebuild my muscle strength. It has been a long and a frustrating healing process. Even now, ten months later, though the pain is mostly gone, I’m still working on strength and durability so that I can walk for longer distances. It’s been very slow going.

With all of this I’ve been under a cloud of mild depression and anxiety, justifiably so. Nothing so bad that I have needed medication or therapy, but enough to completely stifle my creativity. I haven’t been working on anything at all this year and it’s really bothering me. I usually have some projects going, whether it be arts and crafts or writing, or any number of household organizations or improvements. But since my injury, and especially since Tim lost his job, I’ve just been dead in the water. I have felt so stuck. I haven’t felt excited or inspired about anything. I really want to start writing again. I have so many ideas for a novel I started last year. I really need to get back to it, but my creative muscles have atrophied after going so long uninspired. While I am still fighting off depression and anxiety, I recently felt a spark of inspiration. It may sound silly, but I got really excited about some DIY Halloween decorations. I actually really enjoy craft projects, and although it is starting small, I hope this spark will catch fire and help me stretch my creative muscles. Maybe if I work on some crafts I’ll get inspired to work on my writing.

I’m thrilled to get the house back to myself during the day. I love my husband more than anything. He’s my best friend and we have a blast together, but it was hard spending all day, every day together. He worked from home all through 2015, and it was a huge adjustment for me having him here. My productivity fell dramatically. I just had a really hard time getting any work done with him around as a distraction. Once he lost his job and didn’t have his own work to occupy him, it was even harder for me to accomplish anything. Now that he has the new job and is at the office all day, I have an abundance of time to myself again. I’m hoping that I can capitalize on it and start creating.

So all that to say, I’ve been having a tough time and am still struggling, but I feel that things may be improving.  I feel like I am coming out of the fog and getting back to myself.  I hope that I can pull together some small victories that will hopefully catch some momentum for some real changes.  Wish me luck.

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2 responses

  1. So glad things are in motion again. Here’s to the flow of creativity and giving this year a positive end. ❤ ❤

    1. Thanks. I definitely think that things are on the upswing.

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